Relationship Danger Signs and What To Do About It

Hi Everyone!  First I want to wish everyone a "Happy Holidays".  And second I want to help you avoid the pitfalls of relationship disaster.  It's no secret, the stress of the holidays can damage your marriage.  Instead of enjoying each other and your family, you find yourselves having more arguments and feeling overwhelmed due to expectations.

Here are some of the danger signs to watch out for under the stress of needing to do and spend money on all that is expected for this time of year.

• Becoming irritable with everyone and everything
• Avoiding your partner
• Yelling at one another over small incidents
• Becoming defensive - And not listening with your third ear
• Feeling sad or depressed
• Drinking more than usual

What You Can Do About It

• Talk over your expectations (of the holidays) with each other; taking turns and listening with your 'third' ear.
• Talk about money and how much you both are comfortable spending and decide what the number will be with reason.
• Remind each other that it is okay to say, "no".
• Come to terms that the holiday probably won't be perfect
• Stay positive and see what you are and have done instead of looking at what has not been done. Then get 'cracking' with a plan to do it and help the other!

An Exciting Opportunity to Change

With the New Year already here we pause to look back, appreciating the good things that happened and wanting to change the things that make us unhappy and unfulfilled.  Then we look forward, setting goals and hoping with optimism for the best.

Each new year holds an exciting opportunity to change the things we don’t like to the things we do like. It’s like a blank canvas for a new beginning to improve on what already is great or make the changes you know in your heart that will provide you with better health, more happiness and feelings of accomplishment.

For myself, I have recommitted to practicing more mindfulness in the present moment.  I know longer want to look back and live in the past or forward and live in the future.  I want to live right now, right this minute and be present for what already is. It is a struggle, but I am committed.  So wish me luck!

The following is a poem I became fond of and want to share with you.

Until one is committed

There is always hesitancy, the chance to draw back

Always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation)

There is one elementary truth

The ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans

That the moment one definitely commits oneself

Then providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one

That would never otherwise have occurred.

A whole stream of events issues from the decision

Raising in one’s favor all manner

Of unforeseen incidents and meetings

And material assistance

Which no man could have dreamed

Would come his way.

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.

Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.

Goethe

What's your opportunity?

5 Languages of Love

Remember a time when you felt 'really loved'.  What was happening at that moment? Who was there for you?  What did they say to you or do for you that ignited your love feeling?

         

Now remember when you first met your partner.  How did they make you feel ... loved?  What did they do or say to you that made you feel safe, important, and cared for?

Now think about your partner.  When was the last time you think you made them feel loved?  What did you say or do for them?

When we find our partner's love language we then know exactly how to connect or re-connect with them and help them feel loved.

5 Ways people may feel loved: 

• Words of Affirmation 
• Acts of Service
• Gifts
• Quality Time Spent Together
• Physical Touch  

One or more items above may be your partner's love language.  Your mission is to uncover what it is that makes them feel loved.  One key note is, often your partner may not really know this themselves.  However, don’t give up…together enjoy the journey! 

Check in with me and let me know how you made out.

“The Five Love Languages:  How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” is a book by Gary Chapman.